The Upside of 2020

It’s super easy right now to think about the 2020 that might have been. Despite all the insanity of this past year, though, there have been some bright spots.

Time to read: I’ve always used reading as a way to relax and escape, and this year was no exception. If anything, I’ve been reading at a rate unmatched since my school days: Since March, I’ve re/read 150 books and numerous fanfiction pieces online.

A summer in Alaska: Normally, I head back to the Lower 48 for at least part of the summer. Instead, I got to truly experience Alaska in summer: Long days, warm temperatures, and gorgeous views.

More time with friends: Since I spent the summer here, I got to hang out with my “bubble” of friends here in town. All of them work in animal care, so their schedules don’t always follow a 9-5, Monday-Friday pattern. Summer means I can more easily match my schedule to theirs. We had several movie nights, both in-person (watching Hamilton & talking theatre-geek the whole time) and virtual. Bea and I got together for weekly hikes, which would be followed by a DVD’s worth of “Stargate SG-1”. We’ve kept the Stargate portion of things going, although the hikes had to stop when I returned to work.

My new-ish apartment: Yes, I actually moved into my place at the end of last year. I’ve been thankful for that most of this year. My old apartment was compact, half underground, and only had two small windows high on the walls to let in air and light. The new place is actually the upper floor of an up/down duplex. It’s big, has lots of windows (complete with spectacular views), and, best of all, has a deck! I spent a lot of time out there this summer, reading in the sunlight.

Better student relationships: That may sound a little strange, but it’s true. For example: at the end of last school year, my band students had to either submit recordings of themselves playing their assignments or sign up for a weekly Zoom lesson with me. One of my students signed up for a lesson every day. Not only did they make impressive progress, I also got to know the student much better than if they’d continued to be one of the crowd in the band room.

New hormone therapy: I started hormone therapy just over 11 years ago. For the first 2 1/2 years or so, I gave myself an injection of testosterone every other week. At that point, I switched to patches, but the adhesive irritated my skin enough that I only used them for a few months. For the last eight years and change, my morning routine has included rubbing testosterone gel on my shoulders. It’s worked well enough, but a couple of years ago I started to get tired of it. Getting my prescription filled can sometimes be a hassle, and as I look forward to the possibility of seriously dating someone I don’t want to deal with making sure they don’t come into contact with my bare shoulders (long-term exposure to the gel residue on my skin could affect someone else the same way it affects me). I did some research, and with the help of my PCP found a doctor in Anchorage who was willing to take me on as a patient for a different type of therapy: pellets of testosterone implanted subcutaneously. The procedure is done under local anesthetic, and once implanted the pellets dissolve over the course of several months. It took a little longer than I would have liked, but almost two weeks ago I drove up to Anchorage to get my first dose. As Dr. V warned, my backside was a bit sore for the first three days after to procedure (the pellets were implanted in my right glute), but ibuprofen & ice took care of that. Five days ago, for the first time in eight years, I did not rub any gel onto my shoulders as part of my morning routine. (I continued with the gel for the first week after the procedure at Dr. V’s orders, which gave my body time to adjust.) These last few days have felt a little surreal, as with any change in a longstanding routine. I still find myself stripping off my shirt when I head to the bathroom for my morning routine, and the routine itself takes much less time than it once did. Per Dr. V’s orders, I eased up on my workout regimen for the first week, including eliminating any strenuous lower-body workouts. I’ve been slowly easing back into things, and while my backside twinges occasionally, overall things haven’t changed. It’s odd to think that from now on when I travel I don’t need to worry about taking my bottle of T with me, don’t have to make sure I packed the next bottle in case the first one runs out. Odd, but freeing.

A new furry friend: Aside from the new hormones, the best thing about this year has been adopting my cat, Ziggy. Living full-time with a cat again has been a bit of a learning experience; I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve had cats before, but I’ve never had a Ziggy before. Since I had been home almost constantly all summer, I fretted a little about what Ziggy’s reaction would be when I returned to work. While he was initially miffed at my leaving him for so long, he’s actually adapted quite well. I’ve adjusted my mornings so that I have time to play with or cuddle him before I leave, and knowing he’s at home has helped me get out of the building in a timely manner. I’ve learned that he’s a little afraid of the dark, so several nightlights (the kind that turn on automatically) have been installed around the apartment. If I’m home, Ziggy expects attention at least every couple of hours, and will come to find me if I’m “late”. He loves to curl up in my lap, whether I’m typing on the computer, reading, or watching TV. Ziggy knows not to come near when I’m swinging weights around, but regards stretching and yoga as perfectly acceptable times to rub against my arm, leg, head, or wherever he can reach. We’re still working on the notion that the human would like to sleep through the night; the first few weeks after I returned to work, he’d wake me several times a night with his yowling. We’re finally to the point where I may get a 430 wake-up call, delivered from next to my bed rather than the other side of the apartment, and if I pat the bed he’ll jump up and settle in next to me for a nap before the alarm goes off. (Several times this past week, that wake up call has actually been him pushing his face against mine, so progress!) Even so, Ziggy has been a wonderful addition to my life. He’s also incredibly photogenic:

This year was a dumpster fire in many ways. Thankfully, it wasn’t all bad.

• Alaska
• books
• bright side
• cat
• education
• family
• friends
• gender
• pets
• teaching
• Transgender
• transman
• writing