On 28 August, I woke up to a text from Mom: “Please call.” Somehow, I knew what she would say even before I did. Sure enough: “Grandma died this morning.” Grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2010, but until a couple of years ago she still recognized me after a gentle reminder. I’ve spent the last few weeks in a bit of a haze, memories of her frequently running through my head. Here are just a few of them:
-Running around Grandma and Poppop’s apartment with my cousins during the frequent family dinners. Us kids are so little that our parents bring our pajamas and change us into them before leaving to drive home.
-Grandma picking me up after school one day a week. She takes me and my sister to get ice cream and visit the library, then to the pool for swimming lessons. These afternoons last from grade one through grade six.
-One of the very first afternoons mentioned above includes Grandma filling out the form that gets me my first library card. Mom and Dad still have to sign off on it, but Grandma is the one to turn it back in the following week.
-If swimming lessons are cancelled, Grandma takes us back to her apartment. She still feeds us ice cream, then sits us down at the dining room table to work on homework. If I finish, I keep her company in the kitchen as she starts making dinner for her and Poppop.
-Finding Grandma ASAP at the extended Jewish family gatherings. She patiently sits with L & I and plays “Jewish geography”, that is, how we’re related to everyone in the room.
-Grandma and Poppop coming over Christmas mornings to help open and assemble presents. Later, as L & I get older, they join us for dinner instead.
-Grandma and Poppop watching my very first concert in fourth grade. By the time I graduate high school, they have come to every single concert, multiple marching band shows, and at least one performance of each spring musical and Performing Arts class production. They also come to several college concerts, and even a couple of Band Camp for Adult Musicians performances. (Even more impressive: they manage this same feat for all 5 of the other in-town grandkids, and do their best to get to as many special events as possible for the two out-of-town grandkids.)
-When I’m little, Grandma gives me new clothes for my birthday. As I get older, this changes to a “shopping day” with my sister and a cousin. When she realizes I’m not that “in” to getting clothes, Grandma switches it up: our celebration becomes lunch or dinner at the restaurant of my choice and tickets to see whatever geeky movie I want, even when she doesn’t understand them. (After taking me to see “The Two Towers”, she confessed that it took more than half the film for her to realize there were four hobbits.)
-Helping Grandma in the kitchen at the lake house. After the cooking is done and everyone has food, telling her to “sit” and “stay” while I grab something we forgot, just so she’ll get a chance to eat.
-Watching Grandma work in the flower boxes Poppop built for her along the lake road.
-Coming into the dining room or out to the porch at the lake house and finding Grandma reading.
-Cheering Grandma on when she finally comes down to swim with us, even though she take forever to get into the water (she insists on climbing down the ladder one step at a time).
-Watching Grandma and Poppop head out in the canoe early in the morning before the lake becomes too noisy.
-Taking walks with Grandma on the lake road, going either to the beach or all the way to Midway.
-Walking with Grandma and assorted other family members in the annual Race for the Cure.
-As a small child, walking with Grandma to the “dinosaur museum” just a block away from her apartment.
-As a teen and then a young adult, walking from the museum to her place after my workday is done to have dinner with her and Poppop.
-Going with Grandma and Poppop to various musicals and plays over the years, and discussing the shows afterwords.
-Telling Grandma I’m a guy, and she simply hugs me and tells me she loves me.
everydaytrans 